Flying Tea Cosy

mycornerofexistence:

flyingteacosy:

the-queerdo-brigade:

Rebloggable by request.

Links found in the original post:

• “Here is a good post by a bisexual person on pansexual people misdefining bisexuality.”
• “Here is a good post by a pansexual on problematic definitions of pansexuality.”
• “This and this are prime examples [of pansexual people claiming themselves as the breakers of the gender binary].”
• “See my previous posts on nonbinary people in nonmonosexual communities here, here, and here.”

I tend to define my bisexuality more as “I have relationships which are socially (and coercively) defined as queer, and relationships which are coercively socially defined as het”. Like, the binary exists not in my attractions but in the range of responses to them? Cause generally how me and a partner are treated depends far less on our identities than on the assumptions everyone in the goddamn world seems to make about those IDs. Y’know?

Bold by me, because I like it. 

Ah, I’m glad it struck a chord!

Another thing that I’m thinking of is that, of course, it’s not as if there’s a discrete set of Relationships Coercively Defined As Queer and another set of Relationships Coercively Defined As Het. But what’s in between isn’t a grey area, so much as zebra stripes: Me&Partner can be defined by one person as queer and by another person as het and navigating that can be complicated. But it generally happens (outside of wonderful queer bubbles) in a binary way- this person reads Me&Partner as queer, that person reads us as het, another person can’t categorise and can’t deal with not being able to and there is where life gets a hell of a lot more complicated or risky for us. 

the-queerdo-brigade:

Rebloggable by request.

Links found in the original post:

• “Here is a good post by a bisexual person on pansexual people misdefining bisexuality.”
• “Here is a good post by a pansexual on problematic definitions of pansexuality.”
• “This and this are prime examples [of pansexual people claiming themselves as the breakers of the gender binary].”
• “See my previous posts on nonbinary people in nonmonosexual communities here, here, and here.”

I tend to define my bisexuality more as “I have relationships which are socially (and coercively) defined as queer, and relationships which are coercively socially defined as het”. Like, the binary exists not in my attractions but in the range of responses to them? Cause generally how me and a partner are treated depends far less on our identities than on the assumptions everyone in the goddamn world seems to make about those IDs. Y’know?

bidyke:

the-queerdo-brigade:

todayiamadrian:

mudpiefactory:

dani-kin:

the-queerdo-brigade:

Rebloggable by request.

Links found in the original post:

• “Here is a good post by a bisexual person on pansexual people misdefining bisexuality.”
• “Here is a good post by a pansexual on problematic definitions of pansexuality.”
• “This and this are prime examples [of pansexual people claiming themselves as the breakers of the gender binary].”
• “See my previous posts on nonbinary people in nonmonosexual communities here, here, and here.”

THIS IS AMAZING.  YES.  THIS.

wow this expresses so many things that I could never quite process

What about pansexual people who don’t hate on bi people or mis-define bisexuality? What about pan people who aren’t ignorant towards trans* identities? What about pansexual people who have trans* identities? Why does every other post I see on pansexuality have these broad generalizations about what pansexual people say and think? 

Congratulations on the most roundabout version of “we’re not all like that” I’ve ever seen.

Nowhere did I say “all pan people.” I used cis and binary identity qualifiers where relevant. And by the way, binary trans*people perpetuate a lot of binarism and nonbinary erasure.

So what about all those pan people who “aren’t like that” that I didn’t talk about? What do you want, a pat on the back? A fruit basket with a card saying “congratulations on not personally being one of the people who misrepresent, appropriate, and generally shit on my identity”? I don’t owe you a fucking mention, not one.

OMG!

We need to just start handing out cookie recipes for times like these. Y’know, so people can make their own damn not-as-oppressive-as-those-other-people cookies and let the rest of us actually talk about the issues at hand.

Because if your first response to finding out that people who identify the way you do do some oppressive shit is to say “but I don’t do that!”, you need to start taking a long hard look at your priorities and focus.

Maybe while you’re baking yourself those cookies.